Do you still believe in magic?
Earlier this month I got a nice birthday card from one of my oldest friends. The message inside was “Remember when you were little and you believed your birthday was one of the most special days of the year – and you thought everyone else should think so, too? Keep believing – because you were right.”
I’ve always loved that Lovin’ Spoonful song as well, “Do You Believe in Magic?” The music and lyrics are very uplifting. Yes, there is magic in a young girl’s heart. I watch too many people “grow up” and get jaded by life’s disappointments. It takes courage and commitment to keep our dreams alive in challenging times. What are the choices? Just give up and give in to the negative emotions of pessimism, cynicism, doubt, fears, anguish, on and on? That does not seem like the preferable choice to me.
If you’ve read my book, then you’ll understand that I’ve been through my own sets of challenging times, so I come from experience, when I urge everyone to keep looking for that brighter day to dawn. It is so important to keep hope and faith alive. We learn over the years that we create our own magic, through our positive spiritual focus, in partnership with the Divine. It can often feel like “No One Hears But Him” to share the title of a Taylor Caldwell book. So talk to the ones who care and who listen!
We hear that “happiness is an inside job” which is true enough, but we all deserve to have someone who listens to our cares and the secrets of our heart. It is good to know that our Guardian Angels are always with us and provide layers of protection and guidance if we remember to ask for it…that is important; we have to ask in order to receive the maximum of what assistance they are able to provide.
Many people have four-legged friends to offer a type of comfort and companionship. It seems to me that the disillusionment we go through from all the failed romantic relationships along our paths, cause a lot of folks to trust animals more than humans! If we do dare to venture into those waters again, it’s best to have no “expectations” and to do no “leaning” on anyone else, whether consciously or from any of our own unconscious patterns. Being more self-reliant, and knowing that no one can “make us happy” if we have not already connected with that magical place within ourselves, can lead to more success in affairs of the heart. The last thing any of us want or need is another codependent relationship!
When I was going through my first divorce (which was not of my choosing) I found a very helpful book by Dr. Gerald Jampolsky, Love is Letting Go of Fear. It had many wonderfully helpful insights to offer, such as “Fear and love cannot occupy the same space at the same time” or words to that effect. The sentence that hit me right between the eyes though, was “No One on Earth is here to live up to YOUR expectations.” (emphasis mine on the word “your”) That really sums it up! I grew up a lot once I had absorbed the reality of that statement. Being free of the expectation that anyone else can “make me happy” has brought a type of freedom that I did not previously understand was possible.
That is what motivates me to write; to share with you that this freedom is within your reach, as well. When we learn how to really trust ourselves, then trusting others becomes much easier…because we understand that we will never “give away our personal power” again to the false beliefs that got us painted into an emotional corner in the first place. The Expectation Game, the Blame and Shame Games are just no fun at all, and they bring the opposite of happiness.
Once we are free of these old traps and pitfalls, we can be “Happy For No Reason” – to quote another good book title, by Marci Shimoff.
So this is how a Control Freak learns to relax into a state of trust. Observation and experimentation with some of the above approaches to life and relationships will take us very far. Then the magic happens, and we realize that it’s been within each of us, all along.